Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
