his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
True strength comes from lack of pants
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
