Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I think I just sharted jello shots
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
