Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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