So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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