Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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