Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize