I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
