you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
