My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Mom said you looked used
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Shame - the story of my life.
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