You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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