yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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