yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
