what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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