Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
