btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
