i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
