My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
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