i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
