I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I had to cum in my sink.
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