What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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