I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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