you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
