Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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