I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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