I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
ttyl tear gas
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
