You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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