how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize