She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
