We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
