well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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