but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize