I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
