Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
