"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
