the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize