We won't sleep together?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
