dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize