so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
There r osticjed everywhere
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
