Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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