i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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