I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
