I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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