Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
