He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
