I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
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