You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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