beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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