I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
