Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
