currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
