Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
