We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
