so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize