I heard we made out
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Randomize
