This girl is more easily done than said...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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