you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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