but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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