dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
