I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
