My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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