try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Randomize
