Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
