and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
